Many Thanks

Spoiler Alert, all the people who aren't reading this blog!

Totally rad, I am.

We here at Lifeguarding the Gene Pool have our disagreements about the quality of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but one thing on which we absolutely agree is that including Yoda ruled, and Yoda was fucking boss in it.

We would like to send our most sincere thanks to Rian Johnson for remembering that OT Yoda didn't actually speak in backwards-talk 100% of the time. Maybe 50-60% of the time, tops. Yoda's creator, George Himself, apparently remembers Yoda the way a dude who saw half of Empire on TNT while eating an entire cheese pizza and playing Tetris on his Game Boy remembers Yoda: as a weird little lump who talked backwards with every sentence that came out of his mouth.

George remembered such classic lines as

• "Teach him I cannot."
• "What you have learned, pass on."
• "Another Skywalker there is."
• "Why you fail, that is."

And who can forget this beloved, somber exchange between young Luke Skywalker and his Master Yoda?

"I'm not afraid."
"Be, you will. Be, you will."

This is how we got such stellar dialogue as "Around the survivors a perimeter create."

Fuck you, George. Didn't even know what made your own creations tick.

We would also like to thank Mr. Johnson for making Yoda a puppet again. And not just a puppet, but a puppet that moved exactly like the original Yoda puppet. Not like that shitty puppet from The Phantom Menace that looked like it was made out of frozen yogurt. That is how Yoda is supposed to look, that is how Yoda is supposed to talk, and that is how Yoda is supposed to be.

Man, was it gratifying to see Yoda again. He rocks so hard. Remember that time he spent like 20 minutes just fucking with Luke? Good times.